星期日, 3月 18, 2007

CHAPTER 9 UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES AND OTHERS
第九章 了解自己了解別人

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.
Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
當你和人交往的時候,記住,你交往的不是邏輯的動物,而是情緒的動物,充滿偏見的動物,受到驕傲和虛榮激發的動物。
戴爾 卡內基(1888-1955)

Since we tend to see ourselves primarily in the light of our intentions, which are invisible to others, while we see others mainly in the light of their actions, which are all that‘s visible to us, we have a situation in which misunderstanding and injustice are the order of the day.
J.G.Bennett (1795-1872), adapted
我們有一種傾向,在看自己的時候,主要是根據我們的動機,動機別人看不見;然而,我們在看他人的時候,主要是根據他們的行為,行為看得見;因此,我們常常處於一種情況,誤解和不公平成為當時的規律。
J.G.倍尼特(1795-1872),改寫

Were we fully to understand the reasons for other people‘s behavior, it would all make sense.
Sigmund Freud(1856-1939),adapted
如果我們完全了解別人的行為的理由,就知道一切都是有意義的。
西格蒙 佛洛依德(1856-1939),改寫

How to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness, is in fact for most people at all times the secret motive for all they do and all they are willing to endure.
William James (1842-1910)
如何得到快樂、維持快樂、恢復快樂,實際上是多數人在所有時刻,對所有他們的行為,以及所有他們願意忍受的事,背後的祕密動機。
威廉 詹姆士(1842-1910)

Fred Sanford: Didn‘t you learn anything being my son? Who do you think I’m doing this all for?
Lamont Sanford: Yourself.
Fred: Yeah, you learned something.
Sanford and Son
福雷得 三福:做我的兒子你沒有學到任何東西嗎?你認為我所做的一切都是為了誰? 拉孟特 三福:為你自己。
福雷得:對,你學到了東西。
三福和兒子

From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any first and foremost object but one - to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for himself.
Mark Twain(1835-1910)
從搖籃到墳墓,人不會去做任何事,除非符合一項首要的目的---為他自己得到內心平安、精神安逸。
馬克 吐溫(1835-1910)

No man consciously chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for the happiness that he seeks.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797-1851), adapted
沒有人有意識的因為罪惡而選擇罪惡;他只是誤以為罪惡是他尋找的快樂。
瑪莉 沃史東克拉芙 雪梨(1797-1851),改寫

I am malicious because I am miserable; if any being felt emotions of benevolence toward me, I should return them a hundred fold.
Frankenstein Monster,(Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley)
我是惡意的因為我是不幸的;如果我感受到任何善意,我會報答他們一百倍。
科學怪人,(瑪莉 沃史東克拉芙 雪梨)

What do you call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, magnanimity, forgiveness? Different results of the one Master Impulse: The necessity of securing one‘s self-approval.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
你認為愛、恨、慈悲、復仇、人道、寬大、原諒是什麼?他們是一個主要的衝動的不同結果:獲得一個人自我認可的需求。
馬克 吐溫(1835-1910)

The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
William James (1842-1910)
人性最深的原理是渴望得到讚許。
威廉 詹姆士(1842-1910)

Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.
Gene Fowler
人們並非反對你,他們只是為了自己。
金 方樂

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important…they do not mean to do harm…they are absorbed in an endless struggle to think well of themselves.
T.S.Eliot(1888-1965)
世界上一半的傷害,可以歸咎於人們想要感覺自己很重要---他們並不想造成傷害---他們被吸引到一個無止盡的拼鬥之中,想要看重自己。
T.S.艾里葉(1888-1965)

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato(427-347 B.C.)
和善一點,因為你所見到的每一個人都在艱苦的戰鬥。
柏拉圖(西元前427-347)

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man‘s life a sorrow and a suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-82)
如果我們能獲悉敵人們的祕密歷史,我們將會在每個人的生命中發現到悲傷和痛苦,足以讓我們解除敵意。
亨利 華斯沃斯 隆非樓(1807-82)

Understanding will bring you compassion.
Louise Hay
理解會帶給你同情心。
路易斯 黑

The more a man knows, the more he forgives.
Confucius (551-479 B.C.)
人知道得越多,寬恕得越多。
孔子(西元前551-497)

Rest assured that, generally speaking, others are acting in exactly the same manner that you would under exactly the same circumstances. Hence, be kind, understanding, empathetic, compassionate and loving.
G.W.F.
一般而言,可以保證,如果正好在同樣的處境之下,別人會用同樣的態度和你做同樣的行為。因此,要和善、理解,要有同理心、同情心,要有愛。
G.W.F.

To view each individual as being as good and worthy as oneself – therein lies the ultimate challenge. And the ultimate joy.
Anonymous
將每一個人都看成和自己一樣好,一樣有價值---在這一點,存在著最終的挑戰,以及最終的歡樂。
無名氏

Then I saw you through myself, and found we were identical.
Fakhr ad-din Iraqi (1211-89)
我從了解自己來了解你,發現我們是一樣的。
福蘭克 愛得丁 伊拉克

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different…and yet the same.
Anne Frank (1929-45)
我們活著,全都有同樣的目的,想要快樂;我們的生命全都不同---也全都相同。
安 法蘭克(1929-45)

When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything. The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything.
Shunryu Suzuki (1870-1966)
當你試圖去了解每件事,你將無法了解任何一件事。最好的方法是去了解你自己,然後你就會了解每件事。
修里安 鈴木(1870-1966)

To know others you do not have to go and knock on four billion separate doors. Once you have seen your real Self, you have seen the Self in all.
Eknath Easwaran
要了解別人你無須去敲四十億個門。只要你看到真正的自我,就會看到所有人的自我。
愛克尼斯 伊斯沃仁

I observe myself and I come to know others.
Lao-tzu (604-531B.C.)
我觀察我自己,然後了解了別人。
老子(西元前604-531)

I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
我是整個人類壓縮在一起。我發現沒有任何人類的成份我不具備,不管大的方面小的方面。
馬克 吐溫(1835-1910)

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
看待別人,好像他們就應該是這個樣子,幫助別人,讓他們成為他們有能力達成的樣子。
約翰 沃夫甘 馮 歌德(1740-1832)

Really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not in them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man.
John Ruskin (1819-1900)
真正偉大的人具備一種好奇的感受,認為偉大不在自己,而是通過自己。同時,他們在其他人的身上,都看到某些神性。
約翰 拉斯金(1819-1900)

Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales.
Byron J. Langenfeld
很少有人能夠估量別人的缺點,而不會將拇指放在尺上的。
拜倫J. 蘭根費爾德

When you see a good man, think of emulating him; when you see a bad man, examine your heart.
Chinese proverb
當你看到一個好人,想想如何趕上他;當你看到一個壞人,檢查你的內心。
中國諺語

Men‘s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy.
Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)
人的恨通常來自於恐懼和忌妒。
尼克羅 馬基維利(1469-1527)

Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.
Author Unknown
直到你養成習慣,尋找別人的優點而非缺點,否則,你是不會成功也不會快樂的。
作者不詳

Once upon a time a man whose ax was missing suspected his neighbor‘s son. The boy walked like a thief, looked like a thief, and spoke like a thief. But the man found his ax while digging in the valley, and the next time he saw his neighbor’s son, the boy walked, looked and spoke like any other child.
Lao-tzu (604-531 B.C.)
從前有一個丟了斧頭的人,懷疑鄰居的小孩。這個小孩走路像個賊,看起來像個賊,說話也像個賊。後來,在山谷裡挖地的時候,斧頭找到了。下一次,他看這個孩子,走路、樣子、說話都像一般的孩子。
老子(西元前604-531)

Today, find a way to make changes in yourself instead of someone else. Sometimes the results are the same.
Author Unknown
今天,找一個方法改變自己而不是改變別人。有時候結果是一樣的。
作者不詳

I find good people good. And I find bad people good – if I am good enough.
Lao-tzu (604-531 B.C.)
我發現好人很好。同時,我發現壞人也很好…如果我夠好的話。
老子(西元前604-531)

The only devils in the world are those running in our own hears. That is where the battle should be fought.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
世上唯一的魔鬼是在我們心中。應該在我們的內心戰鬥。
馬哈馬 甘地(1869-1948)

We have met the enemy and he is us.
Pogo (Walt Kelly)
我們遇到了敵人,他是我們自己。
波枸(華特 凱利)

Love and pity and wish well to every soul in the world; hate nothing but the evil that stirs in your own heart.
William Law
愛、同情、祝福世上每個靈魂;除了攪動你自己的內心的那個罪惡,不要恨任何東西。
威廉 洛

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these.
Lloyd Shearer
決心去體貼年少的,同情年老的,支持掙扎的,容忍弱小和犯錯的。生命中有時你也會是這樣的人。
李奧 謝樂

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
Mother Teresa (1910-97)
如果你評斷別人就沒有時間去愛他們。
德雷莎修女(1910-97)

God himself, sir, does not propose to judge a man until the end of his days.
Samuel Johnson (1709-84)
先生,直到他死前,上帝自己並不打算評價一個人。
撒米爾 詹森(1709-84)

Judge not, that ye not be judged.
Jesus
不要評斷,你們也不會被評斷。
耶穌

When you judge someone, you don‘t define them, you define yourself.
Dr. Wayne Dyer
當你評斷某人,你並沒有界定他,而是界定了你自己。
維恩 戴爾 博士

I tell you one thing – if you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others.
Sri Sarada Devi (1836-86)
告訴你一件事---如果你要內心的平靜,不要挑剔別人。
史利 史拉達 大維(1836-86)

You who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness.
A Course in Miracles
如果你要平靜,只有藉著完全的寬恕才能找到。
奇蹟的跑道

If your life is not all you want it to be, it may be that you have some forgiving to do!
Author Unknown
如果你的生命不全是你想要的,或許你還要原諒一些東西。
作者不詳

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.
Bernard Baruch (1870-1965)
長久而豐饒的人生,其祕密之一是原諒每一個人,每一件事情,在你上床睡覺之前的每一個晚上。
柏那 貝那克(1870-1965)

The only people to get even with are those who have helped you.
Author Unknown
必須和他扯平的人只有那些幫助過你的人。
作者不詳

One word frees us all of the weight and pain of life. That word is Love.
Sophocles (496-06 B.C.)
有一個字能夠解放我們生命的重擔和痛苦。這個字是愛。
蘇非 克爾斯(西元前496-06)

If you do not learn how to love, everywhere you go, you are going to suffer.
Eknath Easwaran
如果你不知道如何愛,你到哪裡都會受苦。
愛克尼斯 伊斯瓦蘭

So when the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten; when the belt fits, the belly is forgotten; when the heart is right, ‘for’ and ‘against’ are forgotten.
Thomas Merton (1915-68)
因此,當鞋子合腳的時候,腳就會被忘了;當皮帶合身的時候,肚子就被忘了;當心健全的時候,“贊成‘’和“反對‘’都被忘了。
湯姆士 莫頓(1915-68)

Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing is a field – I‘ll meet you there.
Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-73)
在正確的行為和錯誤的行為這些觀念的遠方,有一個原野---我會在那裡和你相會。
杰拉魯丁 魯米(1207-73)

We can judge others or we can love others – but we can‘t do both.
Anonymous
我們能夠評斷別人,也能夠愛別人,但是我們無法兩者都做。
無名氏

I think the greatest thing in the world is to believe in people.
John Galsworthy (1867-1933)
我認為世上最偉大的事是相信人。
約翰 葛斯瓦西(1867-1933)

Experience has convinced me that there is a thousand times more goodness, wisdom and love in the world than men imagine.
Gehles
經驗讓我確信,世界上有超出人們想像千倍之多的善良、智慧和愛。
吉爾斯

I hold to my ideals because, in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank (1929-45)
我堅持我的觀點,因為不論如何,我還是相信人的內心是真正善良的。
安 法蘭克(1929-45)